Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Friday, August 1, 2008

My favorite shrew...


A tiny tree-shrew that lives on alcoholic nectar could - pound for pound - drink the average human under the table, scientists have discovered. Malaysia's pen-tailed tree-shrew waits until nightfall to binge on fermented nectar from the bertam palm. The animal could give insights into how humans' alcohol tolerance first evolved, the scientists say.

Despite the shrews' small size, they are no lightweights when it comes to their alcohol intake. Nectar from the flower buds of the bertam palm is fermented to a maximum alcohol content of up to 3.8% (Sam Adams Lite - I am told). Each bud is a miniature brewery, containing a yeast community that turns the nectar into a frothy beer-like beverage. Yet the animals, which are about the size of a small rat, do not seem to get drunk at all, researchers say.


Scientists believe the animals - which are distant relatives of humans - have had 55 million years of evolution to adapt to their boozy lifestyle. (What great pedigree for us mere humans!!). Humans may even preserve a relic of the shrews' love of alcohol that has lasted through millions of years of evolution. The scientists wrote that the pen-tailed tree-shrew is "a living model for extinct mammals, representing the stock from all extinct and living tree-shrews and primates radiated". They added: "Therefore, we hypothesise that moderate to high alcohol intake was present early on in the evolution of these closely related lineages." The researchers also filmed a primate known as a slow loris feeding from the bertam palm. The palm produces nectar year-round on a complex schedule that appears to maximize pollination by small mammals.

What does this say about yeast and its ability to have us breed it forever and ever for its own good?!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Howzatt?

2 Royals, 2 Kings, 6 Cities, 2 States and a plateau!!
But would they smell as sweet? The IPL

So what’s in a name… when given eight IPL teams to moniker/brand isn’t it possible to come up with 8 unique adjectives/nouns that describe them without any overlap at all??!!

And what’s with the lame adjectives?!?

Is a Royal Challenger, better than just any ole plebian challenger??
Is a Super King a super sized obese king??
Where do the substitutes of Kings XI get counted??

Oh! I get it, the Mumbai Indians – so as not to be confused with the Mumbai Pakistanis, the Mumbai Kuwaitis, the Mumbai Argentineans or the Mumbai Japanese.

And what’s all this talk of 2 kings and 2 royals?? Rajah/Maharajah Relapse Syndrome.

So two of the teams felt that they had to go with the names of the whole state (cause they had "Renamed City envy") but what about Hyderabad laying claim to the whole friggin plateau?

And only the renamed cities got their own teams....



Howzatt!!

Monday, November 26, 2007

a 40something + SN

My son (362 FB friends) and friend (17 FB friends) ask me to try it out. So I get on Facebook.

Day 1. All is calm, all is fine. Upload a picture, kinda fill out a profile. Sit and wait, sit and wait.

Day 2. A couple of my 20something acquaintances have found me and I confirm them. I respond to some pokes and some writings on my wall. I am a socially networked butterfly now.

Day 3. Someone buys me a free virtual beer. Someone else rejects my advances. Someone wants me to upload a real pic not my passport pic, another tells me I am connected via another. I respond to a few more pokes and messages . Ooh some one just bit me...this is funner than email!!

Day 4. My email tells me I have joined Yaari. My email tells me that my Plaxo wants me to define my real friends vs social-network friends. What a snob! MySpace comes calling thru another email from a now-ex-friend. My Facebook has 326 inbox/wall/poke entries. Where are my Outlook filters when I need them most?? I am SNing in volume.

Day 5. FB = 84 friends. Plaxo = 70 friends. MS = 84 friends (but none in common with FB). Yaari is still trying to break my resolve. Xanga and Friendster seem to have joined forces with Yaari to try and beat me down. I love Outlook!

Day 6. Flickr and Picasa claim SN DNA via Geni.com.
My Del.icio.us tags my Digg.
My Orcut sends a salvo into my Yahoo!360.
I WAYN via Zoomr while I also StumbleUpon Twitter.
I Soundpedia my iTunes while hi5-ing my LinkedIn.
Just MEETin and Meetup.com-ing my friends is tiring me.
My Snooth is now Tagged.com.
My tribe.net is all Pownced.
My Sametime is AIMing for my Messenger.

My sh*t son has 3,481 FB friends, while I have 38 passwords to my 15 usernames.

My 43things just became 1433. This SN stuff does not speak well of Intelligent Design.

Meanwhile: tkohli7140, thekohlimiester22, biggaboytk32, mostlyharmless42, kohleetee, SNgod-tktktk, MeSoYoungWannabe, KewlTK*4 and TeeKay## are available for all those who are having trouble creating usernames. I just switched back to pulse dial-up. I need a real beer!